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What happened to Cory PART 3: The 100 Year War

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Actual blog business

This stupid ass blog has been around for a long damn time, given it’s been bounced around on like several different websites, and managed by various assholes (me being the biggest and most incompetent). It’s a very specific blog, and having 82+ topics to write about a year is a real pain in the ass.

It’s been fun writing goofy ass stories I make up about Alec Martinez and Jarret Stoll. It’s been great sharing weird and disgusting stories from my high school hockey days and stories of people shitting themselves. I’ve greatly treasured trolling Canada, though apparently Karma gets the last laugh with Donald Trump.

We’ve had something like three Duck bloggers, two Kings bloggers, and 187 Sharks people. I don’t know what Chen or O’Brien wrote about, nor do I care. We remain James Mirtle’s largest regret in life. Things have pretty much deteriorated since inception, as life does to all of us. Material dries up, and eventually everyone followed my move of never posting unless you absolutely have to and then it is five minutes before puck drop.

So here’s the deal:

I complain constantly to all 40 of you reading about having to blog here. I’ve had a lot of nights of staying up too late thinking of poop, dick, and poop on dick jokes. I can’t think of anything else to say about god damn Calgary Flames. I have written fifteen different times about the Coyotes moving. I hate watching the fucking Los Angeles Kings now. Cory ghosting is pretty much something I wish I had the balls to do.

But I don’t want to exactly abandon this sorry as shit website like the Simpsons leaving Springfield so Homer can go work for Hank Scorpio. I know I’d get bored and would want to post again. Just not 82+ times a year.

Battle of California I think could, and maybe should be, more fun to blog at and more fun to read. I can only make so many Donald Trump jokes before even that orange faced nutsack got old. I don’t really think a full-time replacement for Cory at this site is the best approach. We could/should be a little more relaxed.

If you want to write about the stupid Ducks at any given time, or about their stupid opponent on a given night, or about hockey in general, or about a burrito you had, or about a dump you took go for it. Let me know. I’ll slap the damn thing together with a fancy headline and picture and ta-da you’re sort of a writer now. I’ll credit you of course (unless you don’t want to be), and eventually I’ll figure out the byline thing. They sort of change up things a lot here at SB Nation.

If you want to do that with the Kings at any point, same deal. I don’t know where Ian stands on this exactly, but I have an idea that he may be open to more people posting here and him working less on this site as well.

Be warned, sometimes you won’t get a response from readers at all. Sometimes they’ll just say YOU SUCK!!!!1 and try and insult you. That’s good. Just don’t be too big of an asshole in response. And if you’re gonna be mean, you have to at least be funny. It’s seriously the only rule we have here.

Battle of California can be a place for community content. But more importantly a place where I can be lazier, and a place where the Ducks aren’t perpetually playing the Coyotes.

If you want to submit anything here, let me know on Twitter @NotDeadRyanDunn and we can work it out. Or you can email me. If I don’t respond, I probably just missed it, so pester away.

Get to work, you lazy piece of shit.