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Bye week bullshitting

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I’m back after willfully ignoring my responsibilities for a bit. Whew, feels great!

The trade deadline

The Coyotes suck, and Shane Doan is mad about it. I guess if he were a better Christian God would reward him more, huh? “The Prosperity gospel giveth, and the Prosperity gospel taketh” (Book of BoC, 5 v 12).

Also, the Blues gave up their their best defenseman for a package involving a possibly non-existent 2nd round draft pick. Great work, as usual, St. Louis.

ALSO ALSO the Wild got mumps. HAHAHAHAHA.

LOLOLOLOL.

Teeheeheeheehee.

You can take the coach out of Corey Perry’s infection-zone, but you can’t take the Corey Perry infection-zone out of the coach.

And finally, the Kings looked at their weak defense and anemic forwards, made some calls, and...kicked Peter Budaj to the curb in a trade for Ben Bishop since Jonathan Quick came back. The Kings have apparently found a market inefficiency they’d like to exploit: goaltenders that shit their pants (Bishop, due to illness; Quick, because he’s a giant diaper baby and also probably an alcoholic).

Let’s talk about jokes

There seems to be some confusion about what exactly counts as a joke on the internet by some of its stupidest users. Let’s clarify some of this shit.

I wish the entire reaction to “it was just a joke, ever heard of FREE SPEECH??!!” was just a shrug and a “fuck you, lie in the bed you made, dipshit.” But because this is the internet and the idiot man-children can’t not, we now have to parse through arguments and define terms.

One response to these “jokes” that is that these “jokes” are not funny. That is true, but that is also incidental to the real problem. It’s not like the kind of person who thinks a picture of Dachau is a punchline just needs to hone his craft so he could make a better punchline involving the Holocaust. It’s not true that we first need to find out the intentions of the kind of person who believes that repeating Nazi-era propaganda about Jews being subhuman as a punchline is fine. These guys insist that they’re not bigots, but are both confused and outright evil.

They want to tell their jokes without having any consequences, because they think jokes are the one type of human communication that is entirely context free.

No.

That is not how humor works, shitheads. There’s always context. And the context right now is the one where Jewish community centers are receiving coordinated bomb threats, and Jewish cemetaries are being vandalized, and an on-the-record anti-Semite is in charge of policy in the White House. You will get a shock laugh from some people, and also embolden racists. Is it worth it?

The simple thing to do is to look around at who your supporters are if continue with your joke. That’s how it works in real life.

Leafs @ Sharks

7:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: Mass murder continues to be very different than finding out that there are real-world consequences from being shocking.