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Why are you still reading?

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jk no one is reading

Los Angeles Kings v Florida Panthers
surprise!
Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Today the Kings play the Panthers.

...

Yep.

That’s it.

What? Were you expecting some long winded thing about who’s calling the game or the fact the Kings can’t score or play defense? There’s enough blogs out there for that. You come here for...

uh

Why do you come here for anything really? Cory has been dead for about a month now, the first of Donald Trump’s extrajudicial domestic killings, and the rest of the blog just sort of churns along. We provide...dick jokes? Bathroom humor? A place to feel slightly better about your own grammatical abilities?

Hey! Maybe you should try typing stupid shit here! But not really because you aren’t funny probably. Then again, that’s never stopped me. Feel free to write whatever the fuck you want, and send it one of us stupid douches. Except not Cory. Because, again, he’s dead. RIP Cory. I was your father. Secretly. Because I was so disappointed in you.

This is totally not a ploy to get out of working at this god forsaken site.

Fuck, man, I don’t know. Um FLORIDA!

They suck and their jerseys suck and Florida sucks.

The end?

Prediction: No one sends me anything, and I pretend to be Cory later this week. Also the Kings lose, 5-0 again.