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Winnipeg news roundup

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Hey gentle readers, it’s time to take another look at what’s “going on” in Winnipeg, Canada’s worst city.

So glad they clarified that this wasn’t necessarily the murder bus in the caption.

As many of you know, Winnipeg has a long, proud history of being heartbreakingly bus-focused. So you can imagine how this story must have rippled through the very heart of all Winnipegers.

And hey, speaking of crazy things happening on the road, there’s this harrowing trend piece:

This douche is jealous of the rude behavior he sees before him.

Oh my heavens! Some drivers are very rude and won’t let you in, according to a motorist! Just what in the dickens is going on in Winnipeg?

Somebody stop these women.

Well, that’s your problem right there. These two women. Brazen, rude drivers.

Right-o, crystal meth user. You’ve correctly identified the reason people do drugs. What other insights do you have?

"I tried meth back in 2001 but I was a daily crack smoker back then, so I smoked meth and I thought it was garbage. I didn't know why people smoked it in the first place, so I stuck with my crack up until two years ago. But then I shot it," said Veilleux.

Oof. That’s a really long time to smoke crack. Like, at least 14 years?

Veilleux may be addicted to meth, but he says his next big score will be a safe place to stay.

...

The day's first priority is to strip out of soiled clothes. They smell of sweat, urine and sex, he says.

That’s some excellent newswritin’ right there. “This desperate drug user is going to score...a restful night’s sleep.” I have to imagine, given the second sentence, that this was an excruciating interview, though, so there’s that.

Like many a bad trend piece, this article uses an individual to humanize an event, but then conflates the issues and hardships facing the individual with the issue he’s embodying. So anecdotes suddenly turn into evidence of widespread behavior.

RAMPAGE! My god, the residents of downtown Winnipeg must have been quaking in fear as a 21 year old woman ruthlessly graffitied up buildings and parking garages.

One thing I personally find very, very funny is how people use “spree.” Shooting spree. Graffiti spree. Shopping spree. Like, do you need to be in some sort of manic, gleeful state to make it a spree?

Anyway, that’s what’s going on in Winnipeg.

Sharks @ Jets

5:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: The Sharks are initially shaken by the incredibly rude merging behavior of Winnipeg drivers, and further by the sight of graffiti in the downtown area. Distracted by this, they don’t notice the meth fueled man with nunchucks on their team bus, sealing their doom.