Rules for headhunting my Logan Couture

One of the weirdest things about parenting, I’ve found, is the willingness of new dads to discuss the future sex life of their 6 week old baby. “She’s not going to date until she’s 30!” Dude, fuck you. I often got the receiving end of this since I have two boys, and it made me uncomfortable to have a stranger lay out scenarios where my children are chasing tail. They are kids. Let them be kids. Jesus. Also, ease off on the sexism pedal about 2000%.

And so but you can do a Google image search for “Rules for dating my [son/daughter]” and immediately get flooded with dispatches from the psyche of some of the quietly worst people in the world.

I needed some Fresh Content here for game #2 of the series, and was remembering how some piece of shit on the Oilers, let’s, oh, call him “Milan Lucic”, was making sure to pull a little Jarret Stoll-style bullshit on Logan Couture. So, Milan, here’s my Rules. Memorize them, or I will make you go away!

Sharks @ Oilers

7:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: I’ll be your mother-in-law.