I just woke up and accidentally outshot the Sharks

Presented without any real analysis because you can find Computer Boys all over this fucking network:

Any guesses as to what these two images represent?

The wheels have fallen off, and unless the Vancouver Canucks somehow manage to sneak in and impersonate our playoff opponent, these are the last 5 games of the Sharks season.

It’s also very probably the last five games of the Thornton/Marleau era.

It’s depressing that for 69 games, this looked like a team that could make it back to the Conference Finals and maybe more. We had the defense, the depth, good goaltending that wasn’t just riding on luck. No single player was shouldering too much of the load, even with Jumbo’s production tapering off. Then they got tired and sick and shitty, and that’s reflected in the drooping red chart above.

FWIW, I’m not blaming Peter De Boer. He’s fine. Michael Haley on the fourth line aside, he’s not doing anything glaringly stupid. He’s been platooning Dell and Jones, and giving his veterans time off throughout the season.

I think sometimes Sharks fans (and I include myself in this) have a tendency to look at all the shitty luck we’ve had in the past—and I mean truly shitty luck, like key injuries at the worst times, not just our weaknesses as a team exposed in a playoff series—and expect a reckoning in our favor. Last year felt like that, until we ran out of steam against the Penguins. But that’s pretty much the Gambler’s Fallacy: just because the coin flip has gone tails 10 times in a row doesn’t mean that the odds of it being heads this time increase. It’s still 50/50.

29 teams have their season end either out of the playoffs or a with a loss. There’s no cosmic justice ledger where on one side there’s Raffi Torres taking out Milan Michalek’s knee, and Jarrett Stoll taking out Logan Couture, and Stoll again taking out Marc-Eduard Vlasic, then on the other side are a couple blank spaces we’ll get in our favor to keep it all square. The shitty accountant we have in charge of these things is happy to keep adding Excel rows to SharksSuckLOL.xls, and equally happy to do the same to TheBlackhawsHarborSexOffendersButWhoCaresHowAboutAnotherCup.xls.

Flames @ Sharks

7:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: LOLOLOL