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Who cares?

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Not me, that’s who

NHL: Chicago Blackhawks at Los Angeles Kings
bye bye
Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

Whoop-dee-friggin-doo.

You made the playoffs. That’s great. The Kings could have done that. If they wanted to. But they didn’t because they don’t care. And I don’t care either. Neither should you.

I mean really, what’s the damn point? They won two Cups already in dramatic as hell fashion. They could do that again if they wanted, but doesn’t that tarnish their prior accomplishments? You’d forget about the other Cup wins. So they don’t try anymore. It’s actually brilliant and awesome.

The Ducks are looking to be relevant again, so they need playoffs. The Kings don’t. Los Angeles can’t outright go quit the NHL, so instead they just really half-ass things nowadays. It’s the American way.

Instead the Kings have focused more on the little things. They let Alec Martinez become a prominent top 4 defenseman on the team. They set up Trevor Lewis for scoring attempts. Dustin Brown graciously let Anze Kopitar try and play captain. They rejuvenated the career of Peter Budaj. Marian Gaborik takes games off to let total scrubs play instead.

I cannot think of a more selfless hockey team. So forget the playoffs. Forget Cups. The Kings found a higher calling than that. Helping others. That comes first. So whoop-dee-friggin-doo with your “playoffs”. The Kings are solving the Middle East and world hunger. What’s your shitty hockey team done?

Trying to stop an annoying Canadian team from winning the Cup?

Shit...

Man, that actually is important. Good luck.